i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
