Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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