Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
