Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
