Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
