apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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