Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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