so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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