I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
