can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
