Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I skipped work to stalk him.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
