i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
nutella sex= disaster
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
