I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
