Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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