I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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