stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
