You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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