It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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