still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
