3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
