allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
