so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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