i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
