I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
