just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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