i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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