I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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