Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
