I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
