watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
