That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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