hell yes lets make some ravioli
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
