I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
