We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
