i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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