5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
zippers are such a cool invention
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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