I wish I could punch you in the face.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
