if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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