Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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