oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
