apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Randomize
