There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize