how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
