I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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