Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
There was a lot of him and a little penis
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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