quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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