I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
