due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
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