She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
