I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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